Tuesday, March 14, 2017

Stuff and Things. . .

Man, I am 100% terrible about keeping up with this blog, and life events . . . Jeeez. So, some new stuff is happening and I thought I'd share with my 12 followers what's going on!!

First - I finished my book!!!! I did I did! It's with an editor at the mo, but as soon as I get my edits back and revised that sucker is going up on the 'Zon. I am going to self publish, not for any other reason than I just want to get it up and out into the world. I don't know if it'll reach anyone or if anyone will like it, but writing my story has been the goal of my life for as long as I can remember and it's done, yo! So, if you're into the way I spin words, give it a look see. I'm hoping to have it up within the next month. I'll post the buy link here there and everywhere.

Next, I got a new job!!!! YAYHAY!!!!! I have been looking for somewhere to land ever since I left Zappos and while I loved working in treatment, at the time I was suffering from PTSD and depression, and was not in a great mental place to be dealing with alcoholics and addicts in their cups. However, that job was the most fulfilled I had ever been while at work. My next gig in recruiting was pretty much terrible in every way, and I was looking for something new almost immediately upon starting there. I am not a job hopper, hell, I was at Zappos for 7+ years. I like to bloom where I'm planted and grow with an organization, so having two different jobs in the span of a year was not awesome. I gave it the old college try though, I did. The money was good and the schedule was something I could live with, but my soul was dying. I'm not being dramatic either, so don't go getting me a fainting couch just yet. Through the boyfriend of a friend I have landed as an assistant in a law firm. Some days I feel really out of my depth but I've been here a little over a month and I gotta tell ya . . . I love it. I'm learning so much and everyone is super nice, there's a lax dress code and some schedule flexibility. It feels good to be happy at work again. I like the work, I like the people and I think they like me, but who knows really.

I'm coming up on the 2 year anniversary of my Mother's death and I'm just now starting to feel like myself again. I had always prided myself on my strength and fortitude, and my ability to face life on life's terms and do it with an attitude. My Mom getting sick really threw me in a way that made me question everything I thought I knew about myself. I am just now starting to feel like me again . . Funny, and happy, and positive.

Mental health is a hot button issue in our country at the mo and there's this inherent American belief that everyone should be able to just pull themselves up by their bootstraps and handle shit. I was the queen of handling shit, and I crumbled under the weight of my grief. There were days that I couldn't get out of bed . . . Much less put on pants and face the day. Some days I would sleep until late in the afternoon, and eat my feelings or spend money just to feel fucking better for a little bit. That's depression, kids. And it crippled me in a way that I had never experienced. I thank God for my husband, who I will never ever stop gushing about. He's the damn best there is and he carried me through that time in my life with humor and love and a modicum of patience. My crew, my friends, Katie, Pania, Amanda, Miguel, Charlotte, etc... Too many to list but that core group of people got me out of the house when I was barely functioning. There's a group of people that believed in me and without that support I don't know where I'd be.

I was off work for 9 months. From April 2015 to January of 2016 and I was home . . . I spent most of that time reading and losing myself in really good books and connecting with other readers online. I can't say enough about my book friends. Those wonderful people who I may never meet in person but who loved me through that time and gave me a safe place to land. There's a lot of yip yap out there about "safe spaces" and I'm living breathing proof that having a place where I felt comfortable enough to be myself and talk about books and life helped me heal. I've connected with some amazing people over the last couple of years and built solid relationships through the wonder of books.

Book friends are the best friends!!!

You never know what battle someone is having in their life or in their own mind, so be kind. The world could use more of that . . . Love and kindness.

Baseball season is just around the corner and I'm fully prepared for my Bums to break my heart just one more time . . .

So that's my check in - life is in session and I face every day to the best of my ability, but I don't do it alone and for that I am forever grateful.