Thursday, December 18, 2014


Another year is drawing to a close, and once again I am overwhelmed with all the feelings!!! 2014 saw a lot of beautiful milestones in my life. My husband turned 30 (thank heaven!!!) We celebrated our first year of marriage, and we FINALLY got a little baby bulldog. Phillip and I have been wanting one of these pups since the beginning of our relationship. I got to meet some of my favourite authors and make new friends that I may never meet but we're connected anyway. Isn't that what this life is about? Connectedness? 2014 also held some pretty gnarly stuff as well. Lots of changes at work, my mother's health has been challenging, and some friendships took different forms, leaving a bit of an emptiness where there wasn't one before. Every year presents new challenges and new opportunities. I spent months of this year in a super painful rut. I was depressed, tired all the time, and just generally sad. I still don't know why . . . I have everything I could possibly want or need and I'm legit surrounded by people that love me, yet still I was hurting. Lots of prayer and meditation and love from my husband and my friends carried me through that valley. I was also able to build a new relationship with a dear friend and saw two of my best friends reconnect like no time had passed at all.

Like every year, there have been new babies and loved ones passing. Offering equal amounts of joy and pain. I discovered new things about myself. How if I ease up a little bit and leave my heart and mind open, so much good will find its way in. In a little less than 2 months I will celebrate 10 years of sobriety . . . WHAT?! That fact absolutely floors me for a few reasons. 1 - I can't believe it's been that long and 2 - time... it fucking flies by. It seems like just yesterday I was walking into the McDonald center, all shaky scared and strung out. Today I have a life that I didn't know I wanted, I get to show up in ways I never thought possible, and I'm the kind of woman that I always wanted to be.

Life is fucking beautiful. It is. Through all the laughter and all the tears . . . I'll take it. I'll take all of it. I'm alive and I get to feel. Turn up the music, drive fast and take chances. . . Hug and kiss on the people you love . . . Never ever miss a chance to tell someone that you love them or let them know the value they add to your life. If you're reading this (thank you) and you are valuable to me!!! Thank you for a beautiful year . . . Can't wait to see what the next one brings!!!

"One day you'll leave this world behind - so live a life that you'll remember"