I'm having one of the worst weeks of my life. I try to stay sunny-side up for the most part, but this week has just absolutely hammered me... Failed a test at work that I needed to pass in order to get a pay bump which I kinda really need right now... Ouchie!!! We're supposed to go to San Diego next week, but due to unforeseen circumstances with my traveling buddies, we can't go... Which is fine, I shouldn't spend the money anyway.... I just reallllyyyyy need the beach. The Dodgers are in last place and having one of the worst seasons that I can remember.... So, after being a super-emo mess yesterday, I came home, watched the game with my Daddy, laughed via text with my friends and fell asleep. I woke up this afternoon ready to step out and face the world... That's all I really know how to do is just keep moving forward... Even when things suck (And they SUPER suck right now) I go into town to run some errands & set up camp at The Dollhouse and whaddaya know? My car breaks... grrreeeaaatttt....
I'm desperately looking for the silver lining right now and before I get too down, I need to look at the things that are making me smile... Not in any kind of order... Just thoughts.
Clayton Kershaw: The kid is an absolute joy to watch. I love the Zen look on his face when he pitches... Full on poetry.
My Friends: One of which is trudging her sweet ass out to Big Bad Boulder to pick me up and love on me... And the rest of my girls (& a few guys) that make me laugh and remind me that although things suck right now, they won't suck forever...
Softball: The boys keep winning and that makes their den mother verrrryyyy happy... Especially since my beloved Bums can't seem to win a series or get out of last place.
Jobby Job: I love it... I'm beyond blessed to work where I work. Is it really considered work when I love it so much?
The Empire: I'd be dead in the water or locked up without it. I shudder to think of where my life would be without God and His infinite Grace.
My Parents: My Papa who is taking me to rent a car tomorrow so that I don't go completely bananas.. My Mommy, she's just about the cutest thing ever ever...
Nine Inch Nails.
Baseball: I can always lose myself in a game, I don't care if it's little league... Baseball calms me in a way that nothing else can.
The knowledge that this will pass and that I really don't have it THAT bad. I always search for sense in things that are nonsensical, I look for reason in the unreasonable and sometimes things don't have to make sense. Sometimes things just are and I have to trust God... I take comfort in knowing that I'm not alone. Pretty much everyone I know is having some sort of battle in their life right now and while it may differ from mine, we can carry each other through. I'm grateful for that... Never having to be alone again and being able to show up for others even when my insides are breaking...
It's ALWAYS okay in the end and if it's not okay, then it's not the end...
Looking forward to what tomorrow brings :-)
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