Monday, February 14, 2011
Today is a special day. Not because of flowers and candy and kisses.. Happy Valentines Day to all my married and hugged up friends.. Happy Single Awareness Day to those that aren't :) Today is a special day.. Pitchers and Catchers report to Spring Training today, which for me is better than Christmas.. It means that soon, I'll hear the crack of a bat and I'll be basking in the sunshine of Blue Heaven on Earth.. AKA Dodger Stadium..
Today is a special day for me.. Today marks my 6th anniversary of being set free from the bondage of drugs and alcohol. I'll never forget the anxiety and fear that I felt when I walked into that hospital. I'll never forget how alone I felt and how overwhelming life seemed. I'll never forget the overwhelming feeling of how badly I had burned down my life.
I am a blessed woman. I have a host of family and friends who supported me through my darkest time, but the day came that enough was enough and I was given a choice, get help, or get gone. I chose to get help & it was the scariest, hardest & most painful choice I have ever made in my life.
Don't get it twisted, I love being sober but giving up my best friends, meth and vodka, was too big a task to handle. I had reached a point of no return.. I couldn't imagine life with or without these things...
So here I am.. six years later. Blessed beyond belief, I've been given a life that I absolutely 100 percent do not deserve. The road has not been easy. It's painful and it's hard a d it's glorious and it's rewarding and I wouldn't trade it for anything in the world. I love my life.. It's not beyond my wildest dreams.. my wild dreams involve Costa Rica & a baseball player :)
I have a life that I didn't know I wanted. I get to be a daughter, a friend, a mentor, a mentee, an employee.. A productive member of society who pays her bills on time.. who pays her bills! And while these things may not seem like a big deal to the average bear, they're a big deal to me.
I can never repay the gift I have been given, nor are there enough words to express the gratitude I have for my family & my friends. All the glory goes to God for giving me a new path. I have been able to live two lives in one lifetime...
I'll end with this, it's not mine.. but it's on point.
"Justice is getting what we deserve... Mercy is NOT getting what we deserve.. Grace is getting a lot of things that we don't deserve"..
God and His infinite grace....