Sunday, August 30, 2009
It's been a while since I've written anything on here, I always intend to, but we all know about intentions. I feel compelled to write this today about another light that has left this world too soon. In recovery, we have heroes and he was one of mine. I can't believe that he is gone. I keep thinking that I will wake up and this horrible dream willm be over. I wonder sometimes what we're fighting for... I take comfort in knowing that I am not in this fight alone, I am so blessed to be loved and supported, and even more than that; that I am aware of the love that surrounds me. Did he forget how many people loved him? Did he forget that this too shall pass? I don't know, I will never be okay with losing people. I hope that I'm never so desensitized that death doesn't affect me. I know that he was an inspiration to me, that he helped my friends in this deal and that he had God-given talent that no one could touch. What sends us over the edge? What is the final straw in this life that will push us. I know now that we have no mental defense against that first hit.. The wolf is always at the door, just waiting to be let in. The monkey on my back is doing pushups, waiting for me to falter. We can't let up, I can't stop fighting. I'm trying to find reason in all of this and make sense of something that I don't understand. I guess that's human nature, to try and find reason in something unreasonable. May he Rest In Peace, and may his family and friends find comfort in the factm that he is with God, and he no longer has to wrestle with his demons.