In just about 48 hours I will be 30 years old. Ughhh, I'm excited because it's my birthday, but I have mixed emotions about being 30 in general. When my parents turned 30, I was 7 years old and they were buying their second home. Both owned their own businesses and had a great life. I myself have a great life, I just thought I'd be further along with it than I am now. Granted, I had to start life over at 26. I pretty much had to start from scratch when I got sober... but 30?! I never expected that I would live this long, and here it is... 30, I'm staring at it like I'm looking down the barrel of a gun. No boyfriend,no husband and no kids. I have almost 4 years of recovery under my belt, a great job and a happy wonderful amazing life.... So what am I bitching about?! I recently "broke up" with my significant other. we had been seeing one another for about 3 months or so, which, by the way is an excellent amount of time to get to know someone.He's a great guy, just not the one for me.. I need a spiritual connection with someone, and we didn't have that.
I refuse to try and force something that isn't there, but yet another relationship has failed. I have to hold onto the hope that God has someone planned for my. My girls say that I already know him, I just don't know it yet... Interesting. So here I am, 2 days away from being dirty 30 and not a whole lot to show for it...At least not by society's standards anyway, by my own standards, I'm doing alright :) A hell of a lot better than I ever was before anyway.
Sometimes life throws a curve ball, and after a couple of swings and misses, I hit it just enough to get on base...
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